Vicarious Success

Parenting is a bittersweet experience. Once you have a child, a significant part of your heart leaves your body with that child. Unbeknown to him, he is now in charge of that piece of you. His successes and failures are your successes and failures in a way. These words are easily "understood" but the depth of the feeling is truly unknowable unless you have this experience.

I miss seeing my son now that he lives in another state. Today, he leased a condo near his college. He didn't come home for the summer except for the 24 hours it took to come and get his car. Of course, I want him to spread his wings and fly. However, this week with the signing of the condo lease I realize my son, a second-year college student, is never coming home again except for the occasional short visit. The fact that he is self-confident and competent is a great success for both of us.

I rejoice through my tears.

Startled

Today I went out to corral my animals for their semi-annual visit from the vet. I took a bucket out with me that had the halters and the lead ropes in it. I noted that there were mouse dropping in the bottom. So I went to rinse the bucket out with a hose. The hose nozzle spurted water out forcefully creating a mist of water and mouse urine right in my face. I breathed in that nasty mist and it burned. Holy crap! All I can think of is hantavirus.

The vet laughed. He said it was nice knowing me and he promised to come to my funeral.

So much for my embarkment! Ha!

Embarkment

This is the beginning of a stream of consciousness, my consciousness. It is an edited diary, of sorts. It swings from the mundane to even me to the profound to possible only me for that is the stuff of my own life.

One never knows where a path will lead. This path is no different for it is also an experiment. What do I mean by "experiment"? Do I have anything to say of interest to anyone? Time will tell. Does it matter? In the big scheme of things, it does not. Will it entertain even me? This is hard to say as I am a serial experimenter; some things stick but most do not. Why bother? From where I sit, I can't seem grasp where I am going. I find myself in limbo which is not where I want to be. I am hoping I will recognize something on the page that I miss as the thoughts and activities of my life flit by.

Extemporaneous ramblings may have been a better title.